[克里斯]斯坦福大学训练有素的心理学家：磨练孩子大脑并帮助他们取得成功的第一方法

父母并不总是知道如何最有效地支持孩子的发展并帮助他们提高大脑的敏锐度。

好消息是，许多好的建议可以总结为一个目标：帮助他们尽可能多地采用成长心态。

当我们处于成长心态时，我们相信我们的学习能力是无限的。

相比之下，在我们的固定心态中，我们相信我们要么生来就具有某些才能和优势，要么就没有，对此我们无能为力。

因为我们都有两种心态，并根据具体情况在这两种心态之间切换，所以帮助孩子成功的第一方法就是鼓励他们更多地接触成长心态。

研究表明，它可以极大地改善他们的态度、参与度和绩效。

以下五种方法可以帮助您的孩子培养成长型思维：

1.分享坚持的故事

有时，孩子们会因为自己的失败或挣扎而感到尴尬，因为他们相信对成年人来说一切都很容易。

由于讲故事是最有效的传授课程的方式之一，因此您可以使用故事向他们展示事实并非如此，并教他们成长心态。

我的一个朋友有一个 8 岁的孩子，他有点完美主义倾向。

如果她没有立即在学校获得新材料，她就会变得灰心丧气。

因此，我的一位作家朋友告诉她的女儿，她必须为每个项目进行多次草稿，不断修改和改进她的作品。

女儿惊讶又欣慰地发现自己的妈妈也很辛苦！

这些类型的故事有助于让孩子们正常化，并向他们展示几乎任何值得做的事情通常都需要一些挣扎，尤其是在开始的时候。

2. 谈谈你最喜欢犯的错误

当我们拥有成长心态时，我们就不会害怕犯错误，因为我们不相信它们反映了我们与生俱来的能力。

相反，我们将失误视为学习机会。

我很高兴看到一位老师在课堂上使用一种工具来鼓励成长型思维。

在一个名为“我最喜欢的错误”的大型墙上展示上，每个学生都分享了他们所犯的一个错误，以及它如何激励他们的学习。

你可以在餐桌上做类似的练习。

请每个人分享最近的失误，以及这给他们带来的感受以及他们从中学到了什么。

这些可以是轻松、有趣的对话，我们可以嘲笑自己的错误（“我绝对不应该穿白衬衫去上班，因为我最终把午餐洒在上面了！”），或者是一个重述更脆弱时刻的机会（ “我今天伤害了某人的感情。”）。

通过这些对话，我们可以接受我们的错误并接受他们教给我们的东西。

3. 提醒您的孩子他们已经走了多远

Kids often hyper-focus on the failure or struggle they're experiencing in the present moment, losing sight of the success they've had in the past.

If your child is feeling discouraged, remind them of the path they've taken and the obstacles they've overcome to get where they are now. For example: "Remember when you were having a hard time learning to read? Now you're reading entire chapter books on your own!"

You can pull out some old assignments, photos, or videos to illustrate how things that were once challenging for them are now a piece of cake.

Many kids — from toddlers to teens — love being reminded of what they were like when they were younger and how they've developed over time. This conversation also demonstrates your appreciation of them as individuals with their own growth trajectories.

4. Ask your kids where they need support

The simple act of checking in with your child helps you uncover if there's an area where they need extra support or assistance, whether it's practical help with math homework or a pep talk. For instance, ask them something like, "So, what challenges are you working with right now?"

Notice that this language normalizes the idea that at any given time, each of us is struggling with something. You could even lead by sharing something you're wrestling with, then ask them what they're facing.

Helping kids tap into their growth mindset isn't just about encouraging them to hang in there or try harder. It's about ensuring that they have the resources and support they need to be successful.

5. Make it fun

Shaping your family's mindset is a group effort, but it doesn't have to feel serious or heavy. For instance, one activity that can be both fun and effective is to engage the whole family in coming up with a slogan or mantra, such as "We love learning!" or "Go for growth!"

When we see learning and growing as enjoyable, we're more likely to want to do the work it takes to get there.

Mary C. Murphy, PhD, is Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Indiana University, the founding director of the Summer Institute on Diversity at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University, and founder and CEO of the Equity Accelerator, a research and consulting organization. She is also the author of "Cultures of Growth: How the New Science of Mindset Can Transform Individuals, Teams, and Organizations."

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